Kleptomaniac
by The Infinite Void
Summary: Kazuo Netero. Dango lover. Two star blacklist hunter. Lazy girl with gender confusion issues and a tendency to fall asleep while running people over with her car. Now add in Hisoka. Illumi x OC x Hisoka


**The Rewrite. Alot different from previous fanfic. Oc centric.**

**SUMMARY**

**Kazuo Netero.**

**Dango lover.**

**Two star blacklist hunter.**

**Lazy girl with gender confusion issues and a tendency to fall asleep while running people over with her car. **

**Hisoka x Oc x Illumi?**

**Hunter x Hunter is Togashi Yoshihiro's play thing. Not mine. Kazuo's my doll.**

* * *

**Chapter 1**

**Time Setting: Hunter exam arc**

The world was screaming.

Shadows leapt at him as he ran clumsily across the barren wasteland, Shadows that shouldn't be there, for there was nothing to cast them. Blood stained his torn and tattered white suit, red patched growing with every single step he took. Dead bodies littered the ground.

The man's movement were jerky, his eyes dilated in fear. He looked like he just fought a psychopath in a death battle, which was ironic, since he was running away from one, not fighting one. Footsteps echoed on the ground from behind him. He ran harder.

He ran until his lungs felt as if they were on fire, and the beating of his heart could be heard clearly in his ears.

All of a sudden, the shadows disappeared.

The man slowed down, coming to a stop.

There was no shuffling of feet behind him. The only thing he could hear was his own breathing and the howl of the wind. His heart was still running a marathon, spurred on by the adrenalin coursing through his veins. Paranoia struck him- he turned around.

No one was following him.

Upon that realisation, his knees gave way. The man collapsed in relief.

The pursuer was gone.

He wanted to scream. He wanted to shout out in joy. The man laughed hysterically, pitch growing higher every single second. He praised what ever deity up there that helped him escape this terrible fate, that helped him escape from the demon after his soul. No human could ever kill so ruthlessly with no remorse.

He was saved!

As if Satan heard his thoughts, a voice whispered its greeting from behind him. It sent chills down his spine.

"Yo."

The man turned around slowly. A pair of heterochromatic eyes stared back at him, one bright yellow with slits for pupils, like that of a cat. The other he couldn't see, for it was covered by a curtain of blond hair. Fear gripped his heart.

The demon smiled like a child about to get his new toy, but on its face, it just looked pure evil. Eyes narrowed till they were completely closed, radiating killer intent.

"Sayonara."

The man didn't even have time to scream.

-o0o-

Kazuo took a long drag of her cigarette.

That ossan had been such a pain in the ass to deal with, wasting her time like that.

Though the tie he had was nice.

If only he would just stay still and let her run him over with her car and take his loot like the others. Her life would have been made so much easier. Not that he would: no one wants to get killed, unless you are suicidal.

The girl sighed, cracking her neck. She wriggled over to her side for a more comfortable napping place. And rolled right off the roof of her limousine.

A loud thump penetrated the silence of the night. Followed by moans.

That hurt like hell. The ground was so damn hard, she was sure that her back would probably kill her in the morning... her limo is hard as well but meh. Still, she didn't move from her place on the ground, albeit twitching and groaning a little.

Why should she?

Besides, she gets a good view of the dead people she ran over and the moon. Which was looking exceptionally nice today...

Just like dango.

She wonders how the moon would taste like. Like dango?

If only everyday was like this...

Peaceful.

A moon that looks like dango.

Sleeping on the roof of her car, unceremoniously falling down afterwards, hurting her back and having to heal it with nen if she was up to doing so.

The only thing missing was the unlimited supply of dango, much to her displeasure.

As if on cue, her stomach gave a loud grumble. Great.

Now she was hungry.

How troublesome.

Should she go dango hunting...

"Beep- Beep-Beep-"

Huh?

Kazuo scratched her head, taking another long drag. She groped around blindly for her phone. Only to realise that it was in the car.

What a drag.

With a large amount of effort, Kazuo pushed her protesting body up and dragged herself into her limousine. Which, she later realised, was much more comfortable than the ground.

Now to find out who is that bastard calling her at this ungodly hour.

She fumbled with her phone, squinting at the screen with blurry eyes through her shades.

Satotz...? Why the hel- Never mind.

Kazuo answered it anyway. In monotone.

"-Satotz. What do you want?"

That sounded more like a statement that a question. Meh. He should be used to it by now, so no worries.

"... Kazuo-san. Menchi has saw fit to inform me of your absence."

"Tch, troublesome woman. From what?"

"...The Hunter exam."

"Huh?..."

"..."

"Oh."

"..."

"How troublesome... I'll be there shortly."

-beep-

Damn her Grandfather.

-o0o-

"..."

Satotz resisted the urge to face palm. How did the teen end up becoming a double star hunter in the first place? He proceeded to ask Menchi that question. All he got in return was a shrug. The Gourmet Hunter deadpanned. "You can never tell with her. She's so unpredictable, one can only wonder how someone as lazy as her managed to pass the exam. Once, she even manage to convince the entire Hunter committee - save Isaac-san - that she's male!"

He stared at Menchi.

"Unfortunately, it backfired on her, seeing that she looks more like a male. People really started to believe her. Till this day, almost everyone still think that she is male."

"..."

-o0o-

_"Kazu... ake up..."_

Hn...

_"Kazuo-sa..."_

Who the hell...?

_"...Your turn to..."_

Meh.

_"Kazuo, if you don't wake up, I will see to it that you will get a no dango rehab."_

What?

Kazuo groaned from her position on the ground, irritated. She was going to kill whoever that woke her up. Painfully.

She had been having such a good dream too!

Her eyes slowly opened. She came face to face with Satotz.

What a pity. She can't kill Satotz. He is her friend after all.

She frowned. Mentally. Something very important was amiss, and the big question is :What?

...His face was strangely more vibrant than usual.

Three seconds passed. It finally dawned on her.

"Satotz, where the hell are my shades?"

"Behind you."

Kazuo turned around. And saw her shades.

_...Damn you, Satotz. You and your stupid plans to wake me._

It was too far for her to reach. But she didn't feel like getting up.

Only then was she aware of her audience. Who were all sweatdropping. What were they doing here? Kazuo squinted at the group of people who looked like they ran a marathon. She rubbed her eyes, casually dismissing them.

Meh. They were not the first to see her like this. She didn't have any dignity in the first place anyway.

_And Damn, it is so bright!_

Now, about those shades...

A light bulb visibly flashed over her head. Kazuo mentally grinned. For she was incapable of showing any emotions.

Her eye(s) zeroed in on the closest person to her shades. Who just so happened to be a kid with a skateboard and white hair, looking as if he wouldn't care less if ten civilisations were to be destroyed. Perhaps he was bored? Where had she seen him before...? Upon 'closer' inspection, she realised who this kid was. A Zoldyck. _And a_ _Dandelion._

"Kid." Kazuo droned out. Or slurred. Really, it didn't matter.

The boy who was openly staring at her, to his credit didn't flinch. He slowly looked toward the people on his left, then his right. Cheeky brat. A finger stuck out toward himself and he adopted an innocent expression on his face. "Me?"

"Yes. Could you push my shades toward me?"

He shrugged. "Why not?" Dandelion then proceeded to shove it in her face with his feet. Interesting kid.

The surrounding examinees gasped and blanched. Some sweatdropped further.

But Kazuo, didn't react violently.

It was too much of a pain to do so anyway.

She very _gently _pushed Satotz away, managed to get to her feet with the _grace_ of a dancer, smoothed the creases on her clean coat and wore her shades. In all, she looked like a professional.

Which translates to: She shoved Satotz away, elbowing him in the stomach. He wasn't affected but lost some of his manly pride. Secondly, she sat up like an old man with a weak backbone, and wore her shades the wrong way round. Complete with her dishevelled looked, she really looked more like a homeless teen who just won a battle to the death accidentally. Her coat wasn't all that clean, it was far from being so. The edges were tattered, there were stitches here and there, showing how many holes there were originally, and there were still more holes needed to be patched up. Spatters of blood were still present on her clothes and face.

Much to Satotz's amusement, Kazuo didn't even attempt to smoothen the creases or at least make herself look presentable, she wrangled the worn out coat of herself and threw it over her shoulders.

"Thanks, dandelion." To her satisfaction, the boy spluttered indignantly.

"So," Kazuo said conversationally."What are you guys doing here? Suicide mission?"

There was slience.

The entire group of 311 examinees shouted out insults in her face at that statement.

Well, maybe not all. The Dandelion and the other kid with spiky black hair and a long stick he was speaking to wasn't. A few others, like the girly boy with blond hair, Pin head, and a number of people whom she was too lazy to describe. And...

...Hisoka? Didn't he get disqualified for failing the last exam?

Meh.

Why were they all angry anyway?

"Kazuo."

"Hmm?"

"They are here for the hunter exams."

"What?"

"..."

"Oh."

"..."

The two felt a sense of deja vu.

Kazuo scratched her head, eyeing the angry masses.

How the hell was she going to explain the situation to them?

Damn. This is troublesome. Why the hell did she agree?

-o0o-

**One mind blowing troublesome explanation later...**

"Okay, now that we have dealt with this _small_ misunderstanding, lets begin. I am Kazuo Netero, a double star hunter."

The people started murmuring, some in disbelief, some in shock, others just stoned. It escalated. Again.

How troublesome.

-o0o-

**Another mind blowing troublesome explanation later...**

"Now that we have finally settled down, lets begin. Any protestation?"

The examinees were all silent.

Kazuo blinked. "Good." Did she scare them too badly? Oh well.

"This is the Numelle's Marsh, nicknamed the crooks nest. This is the place where the second round will stand."

Kazuo scratched her head again, contemplating on how to continue this without making it too troublesome to explain.

"The lot of ya just have to follow me to the next destination, somewhere inside the marsh. Also, this place is extremely dangerous. You will probably die."

"..."

...What a drag. Did she have to explain it again?

-o0o-

"Satotz." Kazuo stared at him. "Explain it to them."

"..."

She ignored his lack of reply and lay back down on the ground.

Moments later, she dozed off.

-o0o-

_Cards._

She could feel them flying toward her.

But it'll be so troublesome to knock them away. Or catch them.

Damn you, Hisoka.

What should she do...?

Kazuo rolled away, mussing up her hair further and sending her shades sliding of her nose onto the ground.

Why the hell did he do that for?

The girl slowly got up and sent an eye glare towards Hisoka. She ignore the gasps of the applicants, and searched for the freaking reason to why the cards were sent toward her. The dead man and monkey on the ground were spotted.

Oh. She didn't quite understand. But Hisoka is just weird that way, even if he tries to kill her at least once every time they meet.

-o0o-

Moments later saw Kazuo jogging at a leisurely pace around the marsh. Lost in the mist.

This situation was incredibly troublesome.

You can thank her crappy sense of direction.

Kazuo did her job. She led them to the place where the second phrase was held. Only because Satotz was trailing behind her.

But Hisoka wasn't amongst the examinees. Which didn't bide well for the others left behind. So she went back to search for him. Which landed herself in this predicament.

She could sense Hisoka's nen somewhere far away, along with the few surviving examinees. So she followed it, but she still got lost.

...if only she had her beloved limousine! She never once got lost with it!

Now where was Hisoka?

"Damn you, Hisoka." She muttered monotonously. It was his fault. As if Hisoka heard her thoughts, he emerged from the mist and trees.

Speak of the devil and he shall appear.

-o0o-

"Kazuo-chan~ I didn't know you were so worried about me~"

"I wasn't."

"Maa~ maa~ don't be like that, Kazuo-chan~. We are friends after all, aren't we?" Snickering.

"More like unfortunate acquaintances." A shudder.

"Did you enjoy the Dango?"

"Did you enjoy me owning you a _favour_? Troublesome clown."

"It was two favours, Kazuo-chan~ Did you forget?"

"The last one wasn't counted, you only bought me a screwdriver."

"But it was necessary to fix your limousine~"

"... Fine. And stop saying my name like that. Its creeps me out."

"Speaking of favours, it is about time I need one."

"Troublesome. What do you want?"

"Meet me at Heavens Are..."

* * *

**Character Profile:**

**Name: Kazuo Netero (Adopted)**

**Gender: Female(ish)**

**Age: 19**

**Blood Type: Unknown**

**Family: Grandfather-Isaac Netero, President of Hunter Committee**

**Hunter Type: Blacklist Hunter**

**Nen Type: Specialist**

**Nen Abilities: Her limo. responds to hunters will, which means that it is not necessary for her to drive it. The power of the mind. Able to travel at the speed of light without harming the people inside. Able to turn the car invisible and conceal the presence of the people inside. Able to teleport once a day.**

**Solid Illusions that affect all the five senses. can only maintain them for five hours.**

**Conditions: A kleptomaniac. Inability to show any facial expressions other than displeasure. A physiological thing of her past.**

**Achievements: **

**Hunter-seven years old, second try. On her fist try, she missed two matches due to constipation, therefore forfeiting it. **

**Achieved single star at nine by capturing more than 101 B classed and above blacklisted criminals, half had the ability to use nen. Most of them more or less Dango related.**

**Achieved double star at 17, took on two students that are now single star hunters, and became an examiner for two years thanks to Isaac.**

**Secondary Achievements: Won the Dango Lover Award 1st place, bested Hisoka and Illumi together by a narrow margin**

**Likes: Dango, Her Limo, The moon, Sleeping, her shades**

**Dislikes: Becoming an Examiner, Doing Troublesome things, Fangirls, People who discriminate Dango, Hisoka's make up,**

**Good Friends: Hisoka, Illumi Zoldyck, Satotz, Zeno Zoldyck(wtf), Kite, Lippo**


End file.
